Do I have your attention? I thought so. So if The Place Beyond the Pines has not captured your attention, then prepare for it to. You are thrust into a world where Ryan Gosling is the tatted up, managing to pull off “handsome white trash”. Racing around on motorcycles for a living until he finds out that hot cuban chick, Eva Mendes, he banged out earlier had popped out his baby and didn’t bother to tell him. As soon as he finds out about this he is forced to quit his super sweet gig as the traveling carnival circle of death rider, which is a real shame because I’m sure it had a great retirement plan. Thrown into this new life of sedentary life he meets his new best friend who offers a ride, a place to stay and a place of employment working at his super legit hillbilly garage auto mechanic store. Rising through the ranks, he quickly becomes the only employee and since money is non existent they decide to branch out from their current set of goals and move to something a little easier, like robbing banks. Using Ryan Gosling’s sweet motorcycle skills and this apparently accomplished bank robber’s idea of a Spy Hunter like robberies with quick escapes on the motorcycle and quick hand off into a truck and casually driving away as the cops speed by. It’s a pretty awesome piece of cinematography, fun to watch, super intense. Anyways, doing these robberies they make some dough until the fallout between the characters happens and eventually Ryan Gosling dies and the story is handed off to the cop who shot him, who is, just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, Bradley Cooper.
Bradley Cooper is the smart guy in the corrupt world of the hierarchy of leadership in the police force. His desire to do good almost outweighs his desire to get ahead. He turns in evidence on fellow police officers after they rob the money Ryan Gosling stole and gave to his girlfriend earning him a promotion. 15 Years goes by and we are introduced to the sons of both Bradley Cooper and Ryan Gosling. They go to school together and eventually hang out. When Ryan Gosling’s son gets in trouble, Bradley Cooper lets him slide completely feeling guilty about how he shot his dad and all, it’s the least he could do. For some reason Eva Mendes didn’t want to tell her son that his dad was an amazing motorcycle rider and failed bank robber, and eventually he finds out. Piecing everything together the finale occurs after he sees a picture of Bradley Cooper during a party his son was throwing and decides that the only logical course is to buy a gun from your token black friend and then go out and walk bradley cooper into the middle of the woods to execute him. Everyone waits for it, nothing. Kid doesn’t do it, but makes Bradley Cooper feel like his son was dead because he murdered him so you get to see Bradley Cooper tears and by god are they handsome. Better than Unicorn tears, and those make you have eternal life. It’s a hell of a lot of story but overall it’s a pretty radical movie. I can’t wait until tomorrow. Sunday is my Funday.